Umbrellafragilisticexpialatrocious

In the first week I was here I was forced to buy an umbrella. I simply did not need one in California, where the rainy season consists of a light mist for two weeks in February. And because I was so unused to having one, I had to buy two more as replacements within the first three weeks. I kept leaving them at restaurants or friends' houses. I soon learned, however, to think of my umbrella as a permanent appendage, no less useful than my left arm.

But while umbrellas are generally useful in staving off the rain, you get a good gust of wind underneath those things and they essentially become sails. No matter how fortified you think your umbrella may be, when that wind hits through the concrete canyon walls, you're off like Marry Poppins. I've literally seen small women dragged back several feet.

But that's if your umbrella is strong enough to withstand the winds. If it's a cheap one, the metal skeleton gives way immediately and you're left with an awkward, arachnidan mess on a stick. Which led me to my ultimate question: with so many New Yorkers battling their umbrellas on a weekly basis, why hasn't someone come up with a better idea?

In my quest to solve this riddle, I came across the "nubrella" pictured below. It claims to be absolutely wind-impenetrable and defiantly durable - all while keeping out even more rain than a normal umbrella. What a brilliant idea! Unfortunately, it has one very fatal flaw: no self-respecting New Yorker would be caught dead looking as much like a douche as this guy. Umbrellas, 1. New Yorkers, 0.